So I decided to turn my email spam into art.
Here’s how it happened: one day, a few weeks back, as I was deleting the contents of my spam folder, a subject line caught my eye: “Woman found with bottle in vagina.” Wha? Could it be? I instantly cut-and-pasted the headline into an instant message to a friend, and we shared an electronic giggle. Then I spied another: “Boy eats cats daily!!!” I sent it to my brother-in-law, an appreciator of all things weird. “Wouldn’t it be great,” I mused, “to have a spam exhibit at the American Visionary Art Museum” (a place we both love). “Not a bad idea, actually,” he replied.
Later that day, I was driving home from an appointment in Bethesda, and on a whim, decided to pull over and poke around Bruce’s Variety Store. Mind you, I hadn’t shopped there…ever; but on this day, I felt it calling, and browse it I did. As I wandered through the aisles filled with housewares, glitter glue and a hodge-podge of miscellaneous doo-dads, I saw a needlepoint kit, and that’s when inspiration struck: I would create old-fashioned looking needlepoints of spam messages. The irony would be rich and appreciated by hipsters across the land.
Alas, my dreams died when I realized that I did not, in fact, know how to do needlepoint; nor was I interested in learning for the sake of this project. This was, undeniably, a setback.
But fate was on hand that day, and plan B quickly took shape. I saw small wooden boards, reminding me of the signs my niece and nephew have hanging on their bedroom doors. Aha! I would make spam signs — cheerful, colorful spam signs. I bought paint, sequins and other necessaries, and proceeded to check-out, a tacky vision crystallizing in my mind.
A few evenings later, I found myself home alone, and after fortifying myself with leftover Indian food, I set about creating my little masterpieces.
That was a few weeks ago. I’ve yet to drill the holes and attach the colored string to make them hangable, but I felt it was time to share them with you nonetheless, gentle reader.
Enjoy.
Want more?
- View more of my spam art on Flickr
- Since I mentioned American Visionary Arts Museum – if you’re interested in visionary, or outsider, art, you can also check out Art Enables, right here in DC (they’re having a big sale this Saturday – get the details here). Off the Map is also a great site about outsider artists who create “backyard paradises” (the site has a fun feature that lets you make your own backyard paradise)
- Since I mentioned my brother-in-law – I should also mention that he’s an artist, and avid art collector, himself. Check out his art.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I love you.
ha, ha, this is hilarious! Reminds me of Amy Sedaris’ homemade cakes with iced messages like “For a Special Stepmother,” or “Congratulations on Parole.”
What about the porch spy cam, and watching your neighbors browse in amazement at a display on the sidewalk? I still think you need to take it to the next level!
So glad you guys like :) Mary, your Sedaris cake reference in turn reminds me of the Cake Wrecks blog – have you seen it?
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
I’ve been using this method for pseudo lyric writing for musical jam sessions for a few years. It’s great stream of conscious stuff that ends up sounding like Dylan or Soul Coughing. And from a musical perspective, it really frees you to just focus on the medium rather than the message, which is the more interesting part. ;)
Cool beans.
Lauren: thank you for reminding me of the “social experiment” dimension of this :) ‘Would be fun to showcase them at an otherwise “traditional” crafts fair with jelly jars and floral wreaths….
This is hilarious!
my favorite is “woman found with bottle in vagina.” i do hope you change your mind on the needlepoint thing. it’s been years since i’ve done it, but that particular headline would be damn peachy. who wouldn’t want to be greeted with that pillow upon coming home after a hard day’s work?
what i love best about it is that i read that phrase 3 different ways:
1. someone found a woman who had a bottle in her vagina
2. some found a woman by means of a bottle in a vagina, like a water witch
3. there was a woman with a bottle who happened to be found IN a vagina – like a tiny, tiny milkmaid. that interpretation, however, requires a comma, i think.
Robin: Thank you! And thanks for stopping by – I really enjoyed checking out your site/blog.
Letty: eats shoots and leaves :)
great work. Reminds me that my friend Evan and I often chuckle over the made-up names that appear in the “sender” line – great, forceful names like Chester P. Snidely and Irene L. Quiggins.